You are my weakness
by toobeauty
Summary: Alexander reflects on his weakness and takes a bad decision.
1. Chapter 1

Title: "You are my weakness"

Author: too_beauty

Feedback: yes, please any kind of them will help me to improve my writing or leave it forever.

Pairing: Alexander & Hephaestion.

Rating: PG

Category: Historical AU

Disclaimer: I don't know the people involved; A&H belonged to themselves and to History.

"You are my weakness! Get out of my sight now" the young Regent of Macedon shouted to his best friend and lover.

Hephaestion Amyntoros couldn't believe what he was listening to. "Alexander must be joking" he thought but when he turned round and looked into his friend's two coloured-eyes, he realized that Alexander was saying the truth.

"Don't look at me with those puppy eyes, grow up, you are in the Macedonian Army!" Alexander turned round and looked at his companions and whispered: "And he wants to be a General".

The companions laughed believing it was a joke or a lovers' rant but Hephaestion knew something was really wrong. Cassander laughed louder and added:

"He is such a girl, he will never become a soldier, he holds his sword as if it were a feather"

Alexander laughed at that comment and looked at Ptolemy and Perdicas who weren't laughing but looking at him with astonishment. Alexander had never teased Hephaestion, moreover he had never sided Cassander against his lover, but there he was, doing that not only in front of the companions but also in the presence of common soldiers.

Hephaestion turned his back to Alexander and started to walk but he went frozen when the young Regent shouted:

"Amyntoros, where are you going? I didn't allow you to go anywhere"

Hephaestion turned and without looking at Alexander's eyes, he asked in a very low voice:

"May I leave, Sire?"

"Sorry, I can't listen to you with that girly voice" Alexander shouted.

That remark made everybody look at them with more curiosity.

Hephaestion stood up, full height, surpassing the Regent for several inches and with a strong voice, he asked again:

"May I leave, Sire?"

"Go and quickly, I can't even stand your presence now" Alexander answered and he was patted on his shoulder by Cassander who congratulated him.

Perdicas, seeing Hephaestion going back to the palace, ran after him but after some minutes of talk, Hephaestion continued alone.

On his way to Alexander's chamber, Hephaestion asked a servant to help him move his trunk to the barracks.

While gathering his things, Hephaestion set aside all the presents that Alexander had given him in these eight years they had been together and only took his own belongings. He touched his chest and undid the knot of the cord which held his half pendant, the one that Alexander had gifted him for his last birthday, being that night the first time they made love and spent the night together. Along with it, there were some chitons made of the most expensive clothes, some of them were even embroided by Olympias herself, a fur cloak and two pairs of leather boots.

Hephaestion headed to the stables and asked the groom there to take care of Auburn, the beautiful mare that Alexander had given him to replace his own stallion which had died due to an infection some months ago. He also stated that she wasn't his anymore but she had to be considered part of the Royal Cavalry.

The blue eyed- youth retired to his new chamber in the barracks and threw himself on the cot; placing an arm over his eyes, he tried to sleep, or at least, to shut his mind. His heart was hurting a lot and he couldn't find the cause for Alexander's wrath and disrespect. He didn't go to take his dinner with the rest of the companions so the regent asked one of his pages to summon Hephaestion to go to the dinning room. The page came back some minutes later and informed that Hephaestion wasn't in his room but that he had found many of his belongings on a table. Alexander was astonished for a second but then he returned his attention to the rest of the companions.

Ptolemy was quite worried and made an excuse to leave the table. He headed towards the stables and relaxed a bit when he saw Auburn next to Bucephalus. The groom approached Ptolemy and asked him if he could trust him something. Ptolemy encouraged the groom to speak and it was when the boy told him about Hephaestion's words. Ptolemy was really surprised with the revelation; he knew how much Hephaestion loved the mare. He went back to the dining room and Alexander asked him why he had that awful expression on his face. The elder companion told him what had happened and the young Regent showed fear in his eyes, but he recovered quickly. By this time, only Cassander was laughing with this news.

The next morning Hephaestion showed up for breakfast but he sat at the other end of the table; he ate some bread and drank some milk and spoke to Perdicas, but very little. Even though his eyes wanted to find his former lover's ones, he managed not to do it.

Alexander organized a hunting trip and everybody was ready after one hour except Hephaestion, who was sitting under an apple tree reading from a very old scroll.

Alexander approached and kicked the sole of Hephaestion's sandal to get his attention; Hephaestion lifted his gaze and Alexander could see his eyes bloodshot.

Hephaestion stood up immediately and saluted him as a common soldier did with an officer, and asked:

"What can I do for you, sire?"

"Why aren't you prepared for the hunting trip? You are delaying us"

"I am sorry, that was not my intention but I don't own a horse to go hunting, sire"

"Is Auburn ill?" Alexander asked with concern.

"No, sire, but she is with the Royal Cavalry now"

"Why did you hand her away? It was my gift"

"Because I don't want your gifts; I ´ll ask my father for the money to buy one"

"That is ridiculous, Phai"

"I don't think so sire, and my name is Hephaestion or Amyntoros "

"That's fine, do as you please" an angry Alexander answered.

"Thanks sire, have a good hunt"

And it really was a good hunt, for everybody, except for Alexander, who couldn't put his mind on the hunting trip. Cassander claimed the first prey and gifted it to Alexander. He would do up to the impossible to gain Alexander's heart now that Hephaestion had fallen in disgrace.

Days followed their nights and the two former lovers didn't get along again. Ptolemy and Perdicas were very worried, they saw how Hephaestion was losing weight, his eyes were always reddish and bright less; he spent most of his time alone, avoiding the rest of the companions but mostly Alexander's company.

Alexander, on the other hand, was acting in a very strange way; he was cheerful, doing jokes and flirting with everybody, including young girls they met at the market. He was also paying more attention to Cassander and so a blue eyed youth was replaced by another one but there stopped their resemblance; while Hephaestion was gentle, Cassander was rude; the former was intelligent and the latter was careless; the Athenian was a caring philosopher, the Macedonian was a bloody warrior.

One night, Hephaestion was coming back from one of his long walks around the city when he heard Ptolemy talking very excitedly, he approached the stable, being careful to be hidden and realized that the other person was Alexander.

"Why are you behaving like this, Alex?"

"How?" asked Alexander giggling stupidly

"Like this, you are always cheerful, doing strange things and …."

"But my dear friend, you have always told me that I was very serious, that I had to relax and enjoy myself, and that is what I am doing"

"With Cassander? How about Hephaestion? Have you seen him lately?" Ptolemy asked angrily.

"Yes, I see him everyday, so what's the problem?"

"He is your lover, Alex, and you are treating him as a piece of trash"

- "I am not, and we are over, finally"

"Finally? What does it mean? Was he a burden for you?" Ptolemy asked, not believing what he had heard.

"Well, yes, kind of, because he was always by my side, like a shadow and I didn't have time to do other things young boys do because he thought we were exclusive, and I got bored."

"If you got bored of his company, why didn't you tell him alone, instead of making fun of him in front of all of us? He deserved that and more, in fact, you never deserved him."

"Well, he is free now, you can claim him" Alexander said snorting.

"I´d do that willingly if I knew I was not going to be turned down, because he loves you, more than his own life and he is now fading away."

Hephaestion ran away after listening to Alexander's confession and with his heart smashed to a thousand pieces, took the most difficult decision he had ever taken.

The next morning, when the breakfast was nearly over, a page approached Alexander giving him a letter; the young Regent recognized his former lover's neat handwriting and sat down again on his couch. He opened the letter and started to read; after some minutes, he left the room and while he was walking towards the wooden door, the letter fell of his hand but he didn't stop to pick it up.

Ptolemy ran in his direction and picked the letter, attached to it was Hephaestion's half pendant. While reading, some tears ran along his cheeks and turned to see the rest of the companions.

To the Regent of Macedon,

With great sorrow in my heart, I must inform you that since this very day I won't be more part of the Macedonian Army, I have just realized that a soldier life is not what I want, moreover I am not good at it either. I ask you to inform King Phillip of my decision on his return and if the King needs a further explanation, I'd come back to explain my reasons.

It was a pleasure to serve under your command and I wish you the best for the conquest of Asia.

To my friend Alexander,

Once I told you that if you got tired of me, you'd have the obligation to tell me so I wouldn't bother with my presence. I listened to your conversation with Ptolemy at the stables and because of it is that I am heading back home, where I belong from now on. I wish you the best.

Health to you,

Hephaestion, son of Amyntor.


	2. Chapter 2

Title: "You are my weakness" Chapter 2: "Leonidas"

Author: too_beauty

Feedback: yes, please any kind of them will help me to improve my writing or leave it forever.

Pairing: Alexander & Hephaestion. Ptolemy as a narrator.

Rating: PG

Category: Historical AU so some personages will appear to serve the purpose of this story.

Disclaimer: I don't know the people involved; A&H belonged to themselves and to History, if not Hephaestion would be still among us, living under my "protection".

Author's notes: the text in capital letters belongs to the script of "Alexander" by Oliver Stone.

CHAPTER 2: LEONIDAS.

Ptolemy couldn't believe what had just happened: his best friend and Regent of Macedon had let his lover and soul mate go back home without saying a word.

The rest of the companions were as shocked as he was; the only one who was enjoying the situation was Cassander who couldn't hide his big smile.

Ptolemy wanted to punch him but he refrained his instincts; he looked at Perdicas and mouthed "help me"; his long-term male lover nooded in his direction and took care of the rest of the companions who were still under a shock.

Ptolemy rushed out, looking for Alexander. He found him brushing Bucephalus and speaking to him:

"Yes, Bucephalus, he reached his limit; I wish him happiness"

The horse snorted as if he wanted his master to think again what he had already said.

"It is true, my friend, this wasn't for him; he was staying because of me, because I loved him so much, I had to set him free."

Bucephalus stomped his front legs and bit his chiton as if he wanted to show his disapproval.

Alexander turned to Auburn; the poor mare was sad, she hadn't eaten since the last time Hephaestion fed her and she had also rejected the water; her eyes were wet and she looked for comfort in Bucephalus by setting her head on the war stallion's neck.

"I know you miss him, Auburn, but he'll be fine; you must be strong for him."

Ptolemy entered the stable and stepped next to Alexander. He looked at his friend's eyes and asked:

"Why?" and his question reflected all the pain he had in his heart.

"I had to, Ptolemy, HE is my weakness"

"How can you say that, Alexander? He is your everything!"

"Not anymore, our dreams are different; we are different"

"But you complete each other so well, you are movement while he is quietness; you are actions while you are words; you are impulsive while he is reflexive; you are the heart while he is the head."

"I am a king to be and he is not", Alexander said ending the conversation.

"Don't you miss him? Will you go to bring him back?" Ptolemy asked with hope.

"NO, to both questions, Ptolemy, and I'd like you to respect his decision and mine" and saying that he went put of the stable, put a warm cloth under Bucephalus' saddle and rode out to the field where the Cavalry was doing some exercises.

Ptolemy decided to investigate the real cause of their decsions, especially alexanders, because he has never seen Alexander abandon something or someone so quickly.

It was the second time that Alexander mentioned the term "weakness" and due to his long practice with Hephaestion to do logical thinking, Ptolemy started to search for memories about hem together where this weakness might have aroused.

His first memory was one day while they were practicing wrestling with Leonidas. Alexander, even though he was smaller than the rest of the children studying at Mieza, was always able to defeat the rest of his mates.

This situation changed when the Athenian boy join them to study. Nobody liked him, even though Ptolemy and Alexander were immediately attracted to him, both for different reasons: his clear cerulean eyes spoke volumes about kindness, trust and a good heart for Ptolemy; Alexander had good memories of General Amyntor, Hephaestion's father, who he always looked up to because he was a brave warrior and a gentle father, besides Alexander felt butterflies in his belly the first time that Hephaestion's amazing blue eyes looked at him into his eyes, of course this was confessed by a drunk Alexander many years later.

Hephaestion was several inches taller than Alexander but he was slender and he defeated Alexander in their first wrestle match. When Leonidas separated them and congratulated Hephaestion, Alexander tried to counterattack Hephaestion but he was stopped by Leonidas who told him that Hephaestion had won him in a clean way. Ptolemy recalled the conversation as if it were yesterday.

"COME ON, ALEXANDER, COME ON."

"WHO WILL RESPECT YOU AS A KING?"

"YOU THINK BECAUSE OF YOUR FATHER?"

"THE FIRST RULE OF WAR IS TO DO WHAT YOU ASK YOUR MEN TO DO. NO MORE, NO LESS"

"GOOD, THAT'S IT."

"WELL DONE, HEPHAESTION. GOOD WRESTLING. THAT'S WHAT I WANT"

"COME, COME, COME"

"YOU DID WELL ALEXANDER BUT YOU LOST. NOW BOTH OF YOU CONGRATULATE THE OTHER. GO ON"

But what was more astonishing was listening to Hephaestion offering Alexander his opportunity of winning.

"WOULD YOU WANT ME TO LET YOOU WIN, ALEXANDER?"

"YOU'RE RIGHT. BUT I PROMISE YOU, I WILL BEAT YOU ONE DAY, HEPHAESTION"

Alexander could never defeat Hephaestion; in fact Hephaestion's thighs defeated him over and over again.

TBC


	3. Chapter 3

Title: "You are my weakness" Chapter 3: "Hephaestion"

Author: too_beauty

Feedback: yes, please any kind of them will help me to improve my writing or leave it forever.

Pairing: Alexander & Hephaestion.; Ptolemy & Perdicas.

Rating: PG

Category: Historical AU so some personages will appear to serve the purpose of this story.

Disclaimer: I don't know the people involved; A&H belonged to themselves and to History, if not Hephaestion would be still among us, living under my "protection".

No beta so all mistakes are mine.

A page arrived to the dinning room where the companions were having breakfast; most of them with faces full of disgust due to Cassander's stalking attitude towards Alexander, who didn't dare to show he was against it. They were more than astonished with the Regent's attitude because he had always been very careful to hide his affection towards Hephaestion, and all of them knew that theirs was pure love, the one felt when two bodies and two souls share a real communion with each other, as Aristotle had taught them when they were no more than ten years old.

The courier delivered their correspondence and Ptolemy was amazed at discovering Hephaestion's handwriting. He mouthed Perdicas, who was sitting opposite him, "It is a letter from Phai" and with the corner of his eye, he discovered Alexander reading his lips, a practice Alexander and Hephaestion were master at when they didn't speak with their eyes, Ptolemy also noticed a pang of pain but it didn't reach the Regent's face. Ptolemy put the letter inside his chiton and finished his breakfast.

Cassander was getting bolder with his caresses until Alexander stopped him with a deadly look.

When the morning meal was finished, everybody went to fulfill their tasks; Ptolemy went directly to the stables, he was now in charge of Auburn who was not doing well since Hephaestion's departure.

Some minutes later, Alexander appeared and stood by his side while Ptolemy brushed Auburn's mane and talked to her, trying to convince the golden mare to eat an apple. Her eyes were empty and that provoked a shiver along Ptolemy's body because those black eyes matched his friend's ones, so empty and lifeless, so full of angst and pain.

"How is she doing?" Alexander asked while approaching a bit more.

"Not well, she misses him badly" Ptolemy answered looking at Alexander.

"Which of your mistress has written you a letter, Ptolemy?" the Regent asked with curiosity in his voice.

"Any mistress, Alexander, just a friend in pain."

"Is this friend of yours in need of your company? You may go to him for some days" Alexander offered.

"Thanks for your offer, Alexander, but he has someone to look after him" Ptolemy said in a casual tone.

Ptolemy saw how Alexander's chin trembled; he used to do that when his nerves were at a wreck, Ptolemy could have sworn that a hint of jealousy clouded Alexander's eyes.

"That's fine. Is he a good friend?" Alexander asked with curiosity.

"The best any man can have; he is reliable, intelligent, handsome and kind."

"He sounds to good to be true. May be I could invite him to visit the Court any day."

"I don't think it will be a good idea."

"Why not, Ptolemy"?

"Cassander can feel himself threatened by him and everybody knows how stupid Cassander gets when he is challenged. And I suppose that you wouldn't like to deal with a jealous Cassander." After saying that, Ptolemy excused himself with Alexander and took Auburn to her daily ride.

A very shocked Alexander was left standing alone in the stable and thinking if his decision had been the wisest.

Everybody was resting after lunch, the weather was rather hot and it invited to take a nap for a while. Alexander's heart was in a terrible state of turmoil, he decided to take a walk in the garden which, of course was Hephaestion's favourite place. There he found Ptolemy sitting against Hephaestion's apple tree with Perdicas's blonde head on his lap; that image brought Alexander a very sad memory because he remembered about two other boys in love sharing the same moment.

Ptolemy started to read a letter while racking Perdicas's hair with slow strokes.

Joy to you, my dear friend,

Here I am in my father's farm, trying to get my life back. I must be strong because my mother got terribly worried on my arrival; you know how Macedonian mothers are, always caring about their children excessively.

I am getting fairly distracted, my two younger sisters keep me busy and my little brother Lysander, who is four by now, looks at me as if I were a walking hero because I am Alexander's friend. I couldn't tell my siblings the truth even though my parents know up to the tinniest detail.

I don't have to tell you that my father got really disappointed and that he didn't understand Alexander's reasons; I don't understand them myself so how could he. My mother thinks this is all product of Alexander's upbringing. He was always pushed to his limits, first by Leonidas, then by both his parents, especially by Olympia who, from his early years, had asked him to fulfill the biggest sacrifices.

Don't worry, my dear Ptolemy, I am as well as I could, whatever that means. I have to confess that my heart broke into a thousand pieces; I got paralyzed for the first seven days. My mother said that I fell like under a sleeping spell because that was what I did for those seven first days. I don't recall anything about those days, my mind and heart were so badly hurt that the only thing I wanted to do was to die; I still want but I haven't found the courage to slash my throat yet, my family doesn't deserve that, I must be strong for them, my life will be devoted to them from now on because they are the only ones who I have and they mean a lot to me.

I hope you and Perdicas, as the rest of the Companions are doing well and preparing for the conquest of Asia. Just an advice: don't let the East eat you; those mysterious lands had their tricky ways to cloud people's minds.

Look after Alexander for me; I still worry about him even though he doesn't want anything more with me. I guess Cassander is warming his bed quite well.

I'd like to go on writing to you, my former brother in arms, but I'd also understand if you decide against it. Please, don't tell Alexander about this letter.

Health to you and may the gods bless you.

Hephaestion, son of Amyntor.

When the reading was over, Alexander saw Perdicas setting a kiss on Ptolemy's lips while caressing his cheek and he listened to "He'd be fine, he needs time to heal but our Phai is strong".

Since that very moment, Alexander knew that he had to get Phai's letter.

TBC


	4. Chapter 4

Title: "You are my weakness" Chapter 4: "Olympia"

Author: too_beauty

Feedback: yes, please any kind of them will help me to improve my writing or leave it forever.

Pairing: Alexander & Hephaestion; Ptolemy; Olympia.

Rating: PG

Category: Historical AU so some personages will appear to serve the purpose of this story.

Disclaimer: I don't know the people involved; A&H belonged to themselves and to History, if not Hephaestion would be still among us, living under my "protection".

No beta so all mistakes are mine.

Author's note: the words in CAPITAL LETTERS belong to the script of "Alexander" by Oliver Stone.

Ptolemy had been always afraid of Olympia, and he had a good reason, he was one of Phillip's illegitimate sons but very dear to the Macedonian King and Prince. And he knew what she was capable of.

The Macedonian Queen, born in Epiro, a woman with great healing skills, tamer of snakes and some men, felt frustrated. She had a powerful enemy living in her house and under her care; he was an eight tear-old boy with the most amazing cerulean eyes she has ever seen, it was difficult to look at him and not be caught under his spell as his precious Alexander had. The boy was educated, well-mannered, kind and he appreciated her a lot, Olympia has been looking after him for the last 8 years when his mother got ill. He was also pure at heart and soul, easy-going but … he had a very strong will and such a clear mind that his logical reasoning could match his teacher Aristotle's.

Olympia had seen how much he influenced on Alexander and how the Prince was becoming more dependant on him and less on her.

She had tried everything to weaken their relationship, and in the last seven years, she had made many attempts: poisonous snakes between his sheets; venom in his sweet milk, boys and girls sent to his quarters for intercourse purposes, among others, but they were never enough; he had always found the way to get out of the situation unharmed and victorious.

But when Alexander and Hephaestion turned 15 and became lovers, Olympia got extremely furious and nervous because she was losing her little remaining power over his son.

As Hephaestion was so unique, actions didn't speak louder than words in his case so Olympia decided to use one of her most powerful and subtle weapon: she would poison Alexander's mind against his lover and weaken his love in the same way.

So the poisoning began, with small drops of venom in every conversation she had with her son; and their conversations were daily so after some months of slow work on Alexander's mind, it began to show the results; nowadays it was easier to change Alexander's mind about the important subjects.

One of his most meaningful conversations took place at the same time when King Phillip brought Eurydice to live at the palace as his new wife.

-"I WISH WE COULD SPEND MORE TIME TOGETHER; LIKE WE USED TO, WHEN YOU WERE THE SWEETEST BOY"

-"THERE'S NEVER TIME. SINCE I WAS A CHILD, I'VE BEEN GROOMED TO BE EVER THE BEST" said Alexander on his knees, in front of a seated Olympia.

- "MY POOR CHILD, YOU ARE LIKE ACHILLES, CURSED BY YOUR GREATNESS. TAKE MY STRENGTH" Olympia said while hugging his son tightly.

- "YOU MUST NEVER CONFUSE YOUR FEELINGS WITH YOUR DUTIES, ALEXANDER. A KING MUST MAKE PUBLIC GESTURES FOR THE COMMON PEOPLE." she advised.

- "I KNOW, BUT YOU WILL BE 19 THIS SUMMER AND THE GIRLS ALREADY SAY YOU DON'T LIKE THEM. YOU LIKE HEPHAESTION MORE. I UNDERSTAND; IT 'S NATURAL FOR A YOUNG MAN, BUT IF YOU GO TO ASIA WITHOUT LEAVING YOUR SUCCESSOR, YOU RISK ALL." Olympia admonished.

- "HEPHAESTION LOVES ME, AS I AM … NOT WHO." Alexander defended his lover.

- "LOVES? LOVES?" Olympia said with sarcasm. "IN THE NAME OF DIONYSUS, UNDERSTAND HOW PHILLIP THINKS FOR YOUR OWN SAKE and remember that rulers must be alone so their feelings can't cloud their reasoning."

- "I don't want to be alone, mother, I need Phai by my side, he keeps me sane." Alexander pleaded as if he were 5 instead of 18.

- "Grow up, Alexander, Hephaestion would only be your doom, he makes you look weak, especially in front of your father. Is that what you want? Be weak so he can appoint Eurydice's son as his legitimate heir."

Olympia saw horror in the eyes of his son and she realized she had found the weakest point in his son, his Achilles' heel. Even though he loved Hephaestion, his father's recognition and respect was stronger.

Since that conversation, Olympia could see how his son started to step away of Hephaestion, spending more time with her in her chamber and listening to her stories of gods and heroes, making him believe that he was the son of Zeus and because of that he was born to rule and to be Great.

Hephaestion quickly discovered who was behind the plot, he talked to Alexander and the only thing he got was his refusal and anger. To put the matter worse, the Prince warned him that he should measure his words when he spoke about the Queen because if he didn't, he could be slashed. In that moment, Hephaestion realized he had lost his lover, and that there was nothing he could do to get him back.

Hephaestion turned round without answering his lover but with so much grieve in his heart that he felt that life was going to leave his body; cold and darkness were getting inside his soul and his movements became slower. Ptolemy found his handsome friend curled up on his cot, with a white chiton with golden embroideries between his hands while tears rolled down his shaved cheeks.

Ptolemy sat on the bed and petted his head; the young lover lifted his gaze and with a trembling voice, he whispered:

"I am losing Alexander"

And for the first time, the talkative Ptolemy remained speechless.

TBC

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	5. Chapter 5

Title: "You are my weakness" Chapter 5: "King Philip"

Author: too_beauty

Feedback: yes, please any kind of them will help me to improve my writing or leave it forever.

Pairing: Alexander & Hephaestion; Philip .

Rating: PG

Category: Historical AU so some personages will appear to serve the purpose of this story.

Disclaimer: I don't know the people involved; A&H belonged to themselves and to History, if not Hephaestion would be still among us, living under my "protection".

No beta so all mistakes are mine.

Author's note: the words in CAPITAL LETTERS belong to the script of "Alexander" by Oliver Stone.

The sun was setting on the horizon and a gloomy young man was sitting on his bed; the last rays of sunshine gave the chamber a yellowish appearance , the air was still warm but several shivers ran along the prince's body; he was numb, confused, lonely …. empty.

After an exhausting search for some days, he had found his Phai's letter, well, not his anymore, among Ptolemy's things and after reading it several times, his loneliness had struck him with full force: Hephaestion was grieving, he wanted to die, he had admitted he still loved Alexander and cared about him but he had also resigned to have him; in fact Alexander had to recognize that Hephaestion was doing what he, the almighty Regent of Macedon, had asked him to do. Right now Alexander was still thinking what had made him ask his lover to do such a thing. He also had to recognize that his mother was partly guilty for his decision and also his father and his lecturing since his early years.

Alexander lied on his back on his bed; he put his arms behind his head and rested his nape on his hands. His mind took him to his childhood and to a special afternoon he spent with his father in the caves near his home.

Looking at the paintings of gods and heroes over its walls, they talked about everything but mostly about feelings, duties and people.

"THERE'S NO GLORY WITHOUT SUFFERING AND THIS your mother WILL NOT ALLOW" King Philip stated between his teeth.

"MY MOTHER WOULD NEVER HURT ME" Alexander replied.

"IT IS NEVER EASY TO ESCAPE OUR MOTHERS, ALEXANDER. ALL YOUR LIFE, BEWARE OF WOMEN. THEY ARE FAR MORE DANGEROUS THAN MEN. And your mother is not an exception."

"I know, Father, that's why I have Phai by my side, he is always so sure of himself, he soothes me when I am broken, he makes me happy and the most important for me is that he loves me because I am just his friend Alexander and not a king-to be. " the young prince explained very seriously.

"A KING ISN'T BORN; HE IS MADE BY STEEL AND BY SUFFERING. A KING MUST KNOW HOW TO HURT THOSE HE LOVES. IT'S LONELY AND ALL GREATNESS CAME FROM LOSS" Philip told his son with a sad voice.

"That is so sad to listen, Father, but I know that one day I'll be important but I won't be alone, and Hephaestion will be by my side, as he has promised me, sharing my glory and greatness, and I won't hurt him, he is too important for me." Alexander said with a hint of pride in his childish voice.

"Don't be so sure, Alexander. NO MAN OR WOMANCAN BE TOO POWERFUL OR TOO BEAUTIFUL WITHOUT DISASTER BEFALLING."

"Don't worry Father, when the time comes, I will be able to think and act with intelligence, without hurting those I keep in my heart."

"May the gods listen to you and give you the understanding to recognize your own mistakes and failures and praise you for your achievements. I also pray the gods that they keep you pure of heart and soul so that is the only way to make justice to your beloved ones." Saying that, King Philip went on his way towards the cave entrance.

Alexander went back some steps to look at his hero Achilles on the wall and passing his fingerprints over Patroclus´s face, he whispered: "I will never let you done, Phai, my Patroclus."

His vow came back to Alexander's heart, smashed against its hard shell and the young prince couldn't stop his tears; he had not only betrayed his beloved but also his hero. Crashing his pillow between his arms, the young man cried till he fell asleep, exhausted and more depressed than ever.

In the meantime, King Philip, his guards and part of the Army was entering the Palace with all the pomposity deserved to a winner; his last fights were successful and by the time most of the peoples of Greece had recognized the importance of Macedon and its strength. But King Philip was feeling magnanimous and on his way back to his palace, he had decided that new treaties were about to be written and signed with his new allies, assuring them that he would exchange his protection by their acceptance and recognition. And after that, when everything was calm inside the Greek lands, he would start planning his last actions to conquer Persia. He was eager to comment this idea to his son and he was a bit disappointed that he wasn't among the people who went out to receive him.

Ptolemy hadn't had time to send a page to wake Alexander so he ran to the Throne Room to sneak among the generals and companions who were greeting his King. He wanted to know what had happened but due to the joy in everybody's faces, the King had been victorious.

A banquet was on its way and when the generals and companions had their cups filled with red Macedonian wine; Philip turned to look at his lover, the black Cleitus, and asked him about Alexander's whereabouts. The young general calmed him down, telling him that the young Prince was busy with something. Cleitus spotted Ptolemy in the corner of the room and signaled him to go and bring Alexander. The young man ran to the prince's chamber to find his friend curled up like a ball in the middle of the spacious bed, with his face clearly stained with tears.

"Wake up, Alex, your father has just returned and is requesting your presence at the Throne Room" Ptolemy said with his voice full of anxiety. He saw how his dear friend opened his eyes and discovered that they were reddish and empty, without the usual glow in them. The prince got up, put a clean chiton on and headed to the room, followed by one of his most loyal friend.

"There you are my son, but are you feeling well? Your eyes are reddish " The king asked with concern.

"Joy to you, Father and congratulations on your new conquests." Alexander greeted his father and told him he had been reading under the sun and that was the reason for his sore eyes.

"Where is your lover, pretty boy? I need him to give me some advice on the new treaties and he will be acting as one of my first diplomats."

"He is not here, Father; he decided to go home because the soldier life didn't suit him" Alexander explained trying not to look at his father' eye.

"Gone? By Zeus's balls what had happened between you two while I was away? Did you have a lover spat? If that is what had happened, go back to Pella and bring him back if not I will summon him to come and give me his excuses because …"

In that moment, Cassander entered the room and walking towards the king, he stopped some feet away and kissed Alexander's cheek saying: "There you are, my Prince, I have missed you all day " while he pushed his fingers inside Alexander's hand and gave him a love puppy look.

The king was astonished at this new display of affection by Cassander, he knew that the boy had had a crush on his son since the first time they met but Alexander had only had eyes for his blue eyed friend. What had really happened? He wondered.

"Step back, Cassander, I have already told you how you should behave in public and I don't like your attitude today" the prince said as if his companion was a mere slave. The noble young man turned round and went to talk to his father, who was among the new comers.

Philip saw the sadness in his son's eyes but didn't say a word, life has showed his golden boy her ugly face and Alexander didn't know what to do.

"Titus, send a messenger to Amyntoros's house and summon Hephaestion to come back to the palace. Tell him the king has very important matters to discuss with him" Philip could say a ray of hope crossed his son's eyes but he remained in silence.

Alexander was thinking that he hadn't seen his friend for six long months, they had never been apart for such a long period of time since they met eight years ago and in two days maximum he would be seeing him again.

A day and a half later, Alexander saw the page sent by Titus entering the palace and heading to the Throne Room, he sneaked inside the room because he wanted to hear the news at the same time as his father but it was strange that Hephaestion hadn't come back with the messenger.

"Is Hephaestion washing before coming to see me?" the king asked the man standing in front of him.

"No, Sire, I regret to say that I had brought some bad news."

… and in that moment the young Prince couldn't believe what he was listening, that couldn't be true, he had to be dreaming.


	6. Chapter 6

Title: "You are my weakness" Chapter 5: "Atropos"

Author: too_beauty

Feedback: yes, please any kind of them will help me to improve my writing or leave it forever.

Pairing: Alexander & Hephaestion; Xenos – who was born in my imagination.

Rating: PG

Category: Historical AU so some personages will appear to serve the purpose of this story.

Disclaimer: I don't know the people involved; A&H belonged to themselves and to History, if not Hephaestion would be still among us, living under my "protection".

No beta so all mistakes are mine.

"He is dying; he might be dead by now" the messenger whispered.

"What happened?" a really worried King asked.

"A plague broke out in a near village; Hephaestion went to help because he remembered that Aristotle had talked about this disease and its cure. He stayed there for some days, especially looking after a boy who had lost all his family due to the plague. On his way back to his father's farm, he got ill and fell of his horse; one of his father's servants found him hours later, took him and his mother has been looking after him since then. "

"But if Hephaestion knows the cure and he had been healing others, why doesn't it have an effect on him? "

"Because he is so depressed that he has let him die. Sire, he is a shadow of the handsome and strong youth we had here" the messenger wiped his tears and added "and his eyes, by Zeus, Sire, his eyes are two black holes in the palest face I've ever seen; he looks like a ghost, so lost, so lonely, so broken."

"I must do something, Amyntoros was one of the best general and loyal friend I had. Ask my doctor to come soon and then go and take some food and a rest" the King said and motioned to get things ready.

"Save him, Sire, or we will lose our Prince too", the messenger said that looking at the King's eye and he could see how Philip frowned.

On his way to the doctor's chamber, Xenos, the messenger, found his prince on his knees, crying his soul with silent sobs; his hands were on the marble floor in front of his head and he could see his shoulders moving in synchrony with his sobs. Xenos knelt beside him and put a hand on his shoulder and squeezed it gently. He lowered his head and whispered into the prince's ear:

"Stand up, my Prince, get better and ask your father to let you got o your beloved. I am sure that your love can save him."

Alexander looked at Xenos, who was just a few years older than him but sounded too much smarter, and said:

"His family will throw me out he moment I put a step into their property and my Phai won't let me be with him, not even nearer, I am the principal cause of all his pain and problems, if I had never pronounced those evil words, he wouldn't have caught that illness ".

"When love between two human beings is true, everything is forgiven; I have never seen such a strong love between other people than you two. I was there when you pronounced those words, and I can assure you he is not your weakness; in fact you are weaker now than before, he is your main source of strength, of sanity but especially of love. I have seen with despair what this time apart had done to you; you became a careless, stubborn and selfish person. You have lost that "something" that had always made you outstands among the rest of us; you can flog me, my Prince but I will speak up my mind, it is the only way you can save him and yourself. "

Alexander looked at Xenos with his empty eyes and hugging him, he promised:

"I'll do up to the impossible to get him back. Nothing will be able to take him away from me; things will be fine and I'll help him, even if he decides not to take me back."

Alexander went back to his chamber and prepared some clothes and personal things to take with him. Among these things were his copy of The Iliad, their arm bracelets and some of Hephaestion's letters.

When all his belongings were in order, he went to look for Philip, the doctor. The man was talking to King Philip and next to him there was a big wooden trunk full of medicines and herbs.

Queen Olympia was there too, with a strange look on her face but she was looking quite satisfied and Alexander was really disgusted at her expression. Olympia smiled at his son but that smile disappeared from her face as soon as she saw the bundle at Alexander's feet.

"You are not going anywhere, Alexander. You can't run the risk of being ill too." She said with venom in her voice.

"Of course I am going to him" Alexander said with resolution in his voice.

"I regret to say this but I have to agree with your mother this time; it is dangerous and you can die" King Philip said.

"If he dies, I'll die soon after him, life doesn't have any meaning for me if he is not by my side." Alexander expressed with love in his voice.

"Alexander, be reasonable, you are the heir to the Macedonian throne, after all I have done and resigned for you, you can't choose him over me" a really angry Olympia shouted.

"I'll choose him ever over anyone, even myself, and I'd also switch places with him now if this were possible. So don't tell me what to do because you know nothing about love or being loved. He is my everything and reason to live, without him … I am nothing."

"Father, I will got to him now with Philip, I beg you to let me go and on my return, you can do with my life whatever you wish, but please let me go" Alexander was begging with his soul and heart in his bare hands.

"If he is so badly ill, I need to see him, at least once, to ask for is forgiveness and to declare my love to him again. You cannot ban me to see him, if you do, I'll find the way and not even your entire army will stop me"

Philip looked at his son with proud and nodded and in that instant Olympia realized she had lost her son forever.

A groom brought Bucephalus to the front door of the palace; the prince leapt on it and flew as if Hades himself were chasing him.

He arrived at Amyntoros's farmland in record time and a poor and exhausted doctor arrived minutes later; the guards and escort had set a double march to arrive there sooner.

Alexander and the doctor were about five metres far from the front door when they heard a woman's shouting:

"NO, MY SON, NO!"

… and in that moment Alexander realized that Atropos had managed to cut his thread of life too.

Author's note: _Atropos__ - the Greek goddess of fate who cuts the thread of life_


	7. Chapter 7

Title: "You are my weakness" Chapter 7: "Aphrodite"

Author: too_beauty

Feedback: yes, please any kind of them will help me to improve my writing or leave it forever.

Pairing: Alexander & Hephaestion/ a bunch of gods and goddesses.

Rating: PG

Category: Historical AU so some personages will appear to serve the purpose of this story.

Disclaimer: I don't know the people involved; A&H belonged to themselves and to History, if not Hephaestion would be still among us, living under my "protection".

No beta so all mistakes are mine.

The underworld was normally a quiet place, in fact, very quiet as its inhabitants were dead; so the shouts were easily listened from the very same gates of the House of Death.

A furious Aphrodite, in all her glory, was followed by her faithful husband Hephaestus, limping all the way along the corridor, trying to guess where his beautiful wife was heading for.

- "Calm down, my love, everything will be solved" the ugly god said.

- "Calm down, calm down ?!That stupid old woman cut his thread of life, HIS, Hephaestus, and you, YOU , she said pointing at him, "you forged those scissors!!! " the goddess said.

- "I'm sorry, for the hundredth times, I am sorry, my dear."

- "But HE is my most perfect creation, he is MY Hephaestion, he was born with all the possible virtues and very few defects. Helios lent me some of his sunset rays to create his hair; Poseidon renounced to two of his bluest waves for his amazing eyes; Hera gifted me the most perfect blood red rose of her garden to give him soft red lips; Zeus himself built his spectacular frame; Apollo added his manly beauty and I finally feel his heart with love and life. " she sighed after remembering that amazing moment.

- "I know, my love, I won't forge any other scissors in my life" the poor Hephaestus said with sorrow in his voice.

- "That's fine, come with me, my blind husband, let's find that old woman and see what we can do"

The beautiful goddess arrived to the place where the three Moirai were gathered, they were laughing madly, dressed in their black gowns and their heads covered by dirty black hoods.

"Atropos, what have you done?" Aphrodite asked.

"Aphrodite and Hephaestus, what are you doing down here, visiting our dark home?" she asked

"What am I doing? YOU cut MY Hephaestion's thread of life before his time!! He still has more years to live next to his beloved Alexander." She explained

"How do you now? Are you a seer now?" she asked curiously while her two sisters looked at them in astonishment.

"No, but Zeus gifted me a pond of future."

"A pond of future? What is that? I have never heard of that before." The old woman asked.

"When I was creating Hephaestion, Zeus was on his own creating another man, rival to Achilles in beauty and intelligence, because he missed his golden hero a lot. Zeus was present at Hephaestion's birth as well as the gentle Hera who saw for his easy entrance to the world. When Zeus saw Hephaestion's beauty, he decided that he should be accompanied in life by his finest man, who turned out to be Alexander of Macedon.

With the pond of future, a magic water which I keep in a gold vase, I could follow their lives" the goddess explained.

"But have you seen their future? " Atropos asked.

"I only took a glimpse once, some years ago, Hephaestion was in love with Alexander but he didn't know if he was worth of the prince's love, he offered me a sacrifice and begged me for a quick answer, that night I went to him in his sleep to soothe him, and since then I have looked after their sanity".

"But I can't do anything" Atropos said almost crying.

"We must find the way to bring him back to life because if we don't, our Macedonian Prince will follow him soon and I suppose you don't want to face Queen Olympia's wrath; she will avenge his death and we all will suffer, even though she is a mere mortal ".

"I have an idea" said Clotho, the sister who spanned the threads of life, "let's have a look at the woven of that thread " she said while walking to the secret place where she kept all the threads. After some minutes, she exclaimed:

"Well well well, I found something important, when Zeus was building his frame, he pinched his finger and a drop of his blood entered Hephaestion's body and as our almighty Zeus is immortal, in the case of Hephaestion, this drop will give him his life back but just only once" the moira said.

"Oh! I knew we could find out light to get out of this darkness" the goddess said happily.

In that moment, Hades was walking with a goblet in his right hand but he stopped at seeing the beautiful goddess.

"What are you doing, gorgeous, fed up of the light and your awful husband; oh Hephaestus, you are also here" he said with a smirk.

Aphrodite always had tried to understand why Hades could be so cheerful looking after the underworld.

"You look happier than ever" Aphrodite pointed out.

"Oh, yes, a gorgeous young man is coming soon and I've great plans for him; he is rather unique" he said moving his eyebrows up and down.

"Oh no! leave that goblet, you won't give him that drink" Aphrodite warned him.

"He must drink it so I could erase his memories"

"No, he is coming back to life soon, right in this moment; don't dare to defy me or Hephaestus will not forge you anything else." Aphrodite threatened him.

"That's fine but you haven't told me how you'd do it" Hades said curiously.

"Clotho, tell us how and soon " pleaded the goddess.

"Yes, go back where Hephaestion is lying and ask his family to hug him tightly, the correct embrace will bring him back to life but you have until Helios touches the summit of the mountain; if nothing happens, the opportunity will be lost" she explained.

"How will you transmit this to his family? Hades asked."

"Hypnos can help, he will cover Hephaestion's family with a dreamy atmosphere and I'll speak to them in their dream " and saying that she left running to the light, but first, she kissed her ugly husband and no matter what people said, she loved him.

Everything was as planned, all the family tried but nothing happened. They got desperate, the sun was near the summit when Amyntoros went to the garden and saw a person knelt in the corner of his garden, under Hephaestion's window, crying his eyes out.

The old general realized that he was his son's lover; he looked so broken, so hurt and he felt pity for him; the old man could see that he was also suffering and that he had come to solve things out, according to the doctor's retelling.

"Alexander, get on your feet and come here fast" Amyntoros said in a commanding voice.

"Yes, Sire" the young Prince replied, cleaning his teary face.

"You are allowed to go and hug Hephaestion one last time, but do it well, Alexander, it is your only chance to redeem yourself."

Alexander entered the room but he stood frozen at the door, his beloved Phai was there, still, laying on his bed, his skin was pale , like marble, his lips were slightly pink, but the most shocking image was seeing his bare chest still, without any movement and his eyes, gates to his soul, closed. The prince knelt beside his bed and brushed a tress of his auburn hair which was over his forehead; he caressed his thin cheeks and kissed the cold lips with reverence. Alexander sat on his cot, facing his beloved and put his head over Hephaestion's chest, surrounding his limp body with his strong arms.

"Wake up, my love, don't leave me alone in this darkness" he whispered against his chest.

"You can't do this to me, Phai, you promised we would grow old together" the prince was really getting anxious in his speak.

"You are a liar, you are selfish, you took the quickest solution to this problem" by this time, Alexander was really angry with his dead lover and he was shacking the corpse; but suddenly, pain hit the prince and he hugged his Phai tenderly while whispering:

"I'm so sorry, I love you so much, please come back to me " and he tightened his embrace while whispering like a mantra: I LOVE YOU, I LOVE YOU, I LOVE YOU …

A deep intake of air crossed the silent chamber while a weak voice whispered:

- "Xander?"


	8. Chapter 8

Title: "You are my weakness" Chapter 8: "A piece of Heaven."

Author: too_beauty

Feedback: yes, please any kind of them will help me to improve my writing or leave it forever.

Pairing: Alexander & Hephaestion. Fathers & friends.

Rating: NC-17

Category: Historical AU so some personages will appear to serve the purpose of this story.

Disclaimer: I don't know the people involved; A&H belonged to themselves and to History, if not Hephaestion would be still among us, living under my "protection".

**Warning: m/m explicit sexual intercourse, **but you should know that by now.

No beta so all mistakes are mine.

The prince pushed himself back at arms' length and looked into Hephaestion's eyes.

"Phai? How do you feel?" he asked smoothly because he didn't want to scare him.

"Tired … deadly tired" he replied closing his eyes again.

"Don't say that, my love. Don't worry, rest on me, I'm here."

Alexander sat on the bed, his back laying on the headrest and he brought Hephaestion to sleep between his legs, with the brunette's head on his golden chest.

"Rest my love, re gain your force so we can go back home"

"Too weak …" Phai whispered.

"That's fine, sleep, let Morpheus play his magic and restore your strength."

When Alexander realized that Hephaestion was breathing easily, asleep, he called for Amyntoros, who quickly rushed into the chamber. The old man looked at his breathing son and a wide smile appeared on his face.

"You did it, Alexander, you brought Hephaestion back !" he said while laughing nervously.

"But how? I did nothing"

"Yes, my boy, YOU gave him your embrace of life, you saved him from Death" and he proceeded to tell him about Aphrodite's request.

Amyntoros went out of the chamber calling out his wife and children, telling them the good news. One by one entered the room to see Hephaestion peacefully sleeping in Alexander's arms.

In a moment, both young men were deeply asleep, and a warm and caring light covered them while gods and goddesses celebrated in the Olympo.

Hephaestion opened an eye and closed it seconds later, his head was pillowed over something soft, warm and moving; the scent was more than familiar.

"I must be hallucinating" Hephaestion thought "this is Alexander's scent" and he nuzzled the warm surface again.

A soft hand brushed his cheek while another drew small soothing circles in his back. Hephaestion lifted his gaze and found his two favourite coloured eyes, looking at him with a tiny smile.

- "Hey"

- "Hey"

- "How are you feeling?"

- "Confused … tired …"

- "I know, don't you want to rest a bit more? Maybe in a more comfortable position" Alexander said and motioned to move out of the bed.

- "Please, stay", Hephaestion asked, "just for a while, then you can go back to Cassander" Hephaestion added.

- "Cassander? What does he have to do with US? Sorry, I forgot there's no more an US" and a single tear ran along the prince's face.

Hephaestion looked at his prince and caught the tear with the tip of his finger.

"That's true" Hephaestion said and motioned to move out the bed but his legs failed and he fell on his knees. Alexander was right there, helping him up, in that moment; Amyntoros reentered the room bringing two bowls of stew, some bread and water for both of them.

"Here you are, my boys, let's eat something to gain some strength back. Alexander, would you like some meat?" he asked happily.

"No Sire, thanks for your hospitality, but … I must be going, I don't want to meddle" and saying that he looked at Hephaestion and said:

"Wish you a quick recovery, Hephaestion and health to both of you" the prince said going out of the room, leaving a surprised Amyntoros and a hurt Hephaestion.

*** really tempted to finish here***

"What has happened, my son? Why has Alexander rushed out of her?"

"He is NOTHING to me, why should he stay?" Hephaestion's voice sounded a bit loud.

"NOTHING TO YOU! Say that to someone else, he is YOUR lover" Amyntoros shouted.

"No, Papa, he WAS my lover but HE sent me away nearly a year ago." The son replied.

"But he came to sort things out with you but, when he arrived this morning, you had just died and so he … "

Amyntoros was interrupted by his son's question:

"Dead? How could I be dead in the morning and alive in the afternoon?" he asked astonished.

"Sit down, my son, and listen to me carefully; afterwards whichever decision you take, we will support you; you don't have to go back to the palace if you don't feel like doing."

Hephaestion nodded and listened to his father, who told him everything that had happened since the early hours of that very same dawn. When his father went silent, Hephaestion couldn't stop his tears, he hid his face between his hands and cried as if there was no tomorrow. Amyntoros hugged and comforted him, he also made him eat some bread and drink some stew, and when the meal was over, the old general cradled his son in his arms as if he were a little child.

"What must I do, Papa? I am so confused."

"What does your heart say? Follow what you have inside it" he advised.

"I love him so much, there's no other for me but … but I can't give him what he needs; he needs a heir and I am not a woman, he needs fierce warriors and I am not brave enough, he needs …" he was interrupted by his father.

"He needs love and stability and only you can give him those things. I saw him, Hephaestion, broken, sad and crying his eyes out because he thought he had lost you forever. Leave your pride aside and sort things out, neither of you can live without the other. That is as clear as the reign of Zeus in the Olympo. Get better and I'll go with you to the palace "

A week later, two men on fine war stallions entered the Macedonian Palace. Two grooms approached to take the horses, an old servant, who was on his way to the kitchen, saw the newcomers and a broad smile appeared on his face.

- "Joy to you, my young Sire, you are back to us" he greeted.

- "Joy to you too, noble Athos, how have you been " the brunette man asked.

- "I am fine now but I was quite ill last winter, but my prince gave me one of his healing concoction and he looked after me for a whole month until I got better, and since then, I didn't catch any other illness. "

Excuse me Sire, you must be general Amyntoros, Hephaestion's father, the resemblance is amazing and your loyalty to our King precedes you"

"Thank you, Athos. Is there any chance to see King Philip without a previous audience?" the general asked.

"Of course, I'll see to that myself."

Some minutes later a page, wearing the colour of the King, led them to the throne room and told them that the king was on his way to see them. Hephaestion was still walking slowly and every time and then, he had to stop to put some air inside his weaken body; he was still tired and very thin, but his beauty hadn't diminished a little.

Ptolemy and Perdicas were walking, arm in arm; to the garden when they saw their dear friend.

"Phai, when did you get back?" they shouted while running to hug him, in fact, he was crushed between the two companions.

"Be careful, I am still a bit weak" Hephaestion warned them.

"We can see that, you are so skinny, we will have to wait to challenge you at the wrestling arena" they said smiling.

"Has Alexander seen you? "Ptolemy asked anxiously.

"No, I want to speak to King Philip first, to see if I can come back" he said with hesitation.

"Of course you can, you don't need to ask that, Hephaestion" the loud voice of the king answered from behind.

"My King, joy to you, Sire" Hephaestion greeted with a bow.

"Come here, son" he said hugging him, "you scared us to death, I thought Alex was going to fall dead when Xenos delivered the news of your illness; I had never seen him prepare to leave so quickly. But, he asked setting his good eye on the handsome companion; you haven't solved anything yet, have you?"

"No, Sire …" he replied blushing.

"Even if I am the King, I can't interfere with the things of the heart, especially when the lovers are so stubborn as you two are. Just one advice: if you are to solve things, do it soon, that son of mine is wearing himself out with drills and wrestling, eating and sleeping well is something he can start doing again now that you are here."

"Do you know where he is?"

"I think he may be having a bath in the river near …"

"I know the spot very well" Hephaestion admitted blushing again. "I am going with your leave, Sire"

"Go, go and leave us go for some wine. Come General and let these love birds solve their problems" laughing, he headed with Amyntoros back to the Palace.

"Do you want us to go with you?" Ptolemy asked.

"There's no need, thank you" and the young man started to walk slowly towards the river.

Alexander was there, lying under the sun, drying himself after a bath; as Hephaestion was walking so smoothly, the prince didn't listen, allowing the brunette to sit next to him and lied down, looking at him with love in his eyes.

"Who do I want to deceive?" the handsome man asked himself, "I love him and I want to spend the rest of my life by his side, not matter what." Without realizing, Hephaestion closed his eyes while raking his long fingers through the golden hair. Alexander felt the softness of the caress and opened his eyes to find a nearly asleep Hephaestion by his side, caressing his scalp now.

"Strong Apollo must be tricking me; Hephaestion told me very clearly that there was no US. Please Apollo, if this is a trick of the gods; make him disappear when I open my eyes again." And when he did, he encountered the two most perfect blue eyes looking at him, two red lips near his and a warm big hand was on his cheek.

"I am not a trick of the gods, I am your Patroclus if you still think so" the brunette confessed whispering.

Alexander propped himself onto his two elbows and kissed Hephaestion's lips tentatively, the taller man pushed his tongue between the prince's lips to make them part and, of course, the prince obeyed. The kiss deepened and a battle of tongues began, each one trying to reach further inside the other's mouth.

Hephaestion set apart first when a fit of cough invaded his chest.

"I am sorry, but my experience with Thanatos left me a bit weak." he explained.

"No more sorry between us; come, lie down and let's rest for a while." the prince suggested.

The stronger man caught his lover between his arms and rested the brunette's head on the crock of his neck. Hephaestion released a sigh he didn't know he was holding and whispered "I am at home now" while he embraced his golden lover.

The afternoon turned into evening, the prince was awake looking at the young man slept between his arms, he was so happy to have his Phai back but he was also very nervous, he knew this was his last chance top do things well and he had promised himself that if he had it, he would do up to the impossible to make things right.

Hephaestion stirred in his sleep and opened his eyes for a moment, he blinked twice and smiled.

"I thought you were a dream" he whispered with a loving voice.

"Can you get up? It is rather cold and you mustn't be under this mist" Alexander said.

"Don't pamper me, Xander; but you are right, let's go back to the palace. Besides , I am starving" he confessed laughing.

"Me too" Alexander answered while helping Hephaestion up.

"Not so fast, I am not that steady yet" he warned.

"Sorry, and you do need to put some more flesh on those bones, you are very skinny, love"

"I know, maybe we can heal together now" Hephaestion said while putting his hand inside Alexander's.

"I am sure we will; together we will be invincible, Achilles and Patroclus reborn" he assured his lover while kissing their entwined fingers.

TBC (two more chapters to go)


	9. Chapter 9

Title: "You are my weakness" Chapter 9: "Home is where your heart is."

Author: too_beauty

Feedback: yes, please any kind of them will help me to improve my writing or leave it forever.

Pairing: Alexander & Hephaestion.

Rating: NC-17

Category: Historical AU so some personages will appear to serve the purpose of this story.

Disclaimer: I don't know the people involved; A&H belonged to themselves and to History, if not Hephaestion would be still among us, living under my "protection".

**Warning: m/m explicit sexual intercourse, **but you should know that by now.

No beta so all mistakes are mine.

The two lovers went back walking slowly, Alexander supporting Hephaestion's weight with his arm around the slender waist. When they got to the palace, they went directly to the dinning room, and when they did their entrance, shouts and claps were heard, the companions were more than happy to have his brother-in-arms back; everybody, except Cassander and Craterous.

Alexander led Hephaestion to his couch and they shared their dinner, eating from the same plate and drinking from the same spot of the golden goblet. The companions realized by this subtle gesture that the golden prince and the brunette general-to-be were together again.

The dinner went on for hours; the conversation was good and entertaining. Hephaestion rested his head on the back of the couch and closed his eyes for a moment; his head started to slide to one side till it rested on Alexander's strong shoulder. The prince was delighted because his lover used to be very reserved with public demonstration of affection.

One hour later, some companions started to stand up and return to their chambers, previously greeting and grinning to Alexander. The prince caressed his lover's cheek while whispering :

"Phai, wake up, love, let's go to bed"

Hephaestion opened his gorgeous eyes, still heavy with sleep and Alexander couldn't help ravishing his lips.

"Let's go to my chamber, in fact, it will be our chamber since tonight till we die"

"No, till you marry and abandon me" a sleepy Hephaestion answered.

"NO, I once made that mistake but I promise you, by Zeus, that we will never be apart if I can avoid it."

The two young men got to the chamber, it was dimly-lit, fresh sheets and lots of silk cushions on the bed, the air was fresh and there was a sweet smell of roses and mint; a silver plate with fresh fruits and sweet treats was there on a table, next to a jar with strong red Macedonian wine and two goblets. When Hephaestion got closer, he could see that among the treats there were slices of his favourite sweet bread and figs and that the goblets were the ones with the images of Achilles and Patroclus engraved on them, a gift he had given to Alexander after their first time together.

He poured some wine in the goblets and offered one to Alexander while eating a fig; they tossed and drank the unwatered wine. Alexander fed some more figs to his Phai and asked:

"Do you want a bath, Phai"? he asked with love in his two coloured eyes.

"No, Alex, thanks, but I am tired and feel a bit weak" he replied while yawning.

"Do you want me to call my father's doctor?" he asked worriedly.

"No, nothing too serious that a good night sleep can cure"

Alexander helped him to strip of his clothes and cuddled him with a thick fur blanket. He went outside to ask the guards to step further of the chamber entrance and when he came back, some minutes later, Alexander joined the already sleeping man on the bed; he spooned him, resting his left arm on Phai's waist and his face hidden among Phai's auburn tresses.

**********

Zeus was bored; nothing spectacular was going on in his paradise so he decided to take a look at the human world. Surprisingly, there weren't many wars, Ares must be chasing a goddess, he thought, and half of the Earth's inhabitants were sleeping.

"Boring", grumbled the Father of the gods. He then saw Aphrodite walking, holding Hephaestus's hand chatting happily.

"Good evening, my gorgeous Aphrodite … and Hephaestus, of course. May I ask you a question?"

"Of course, father Zeus"

"How are our Macedonian boys doing?"

"I haven't checked tonight, do you want me to see?" And saying that she took the pond of future out of her gown.

"They are sleeping!!? By Hades, they are SLEEPING" an angry Zeus shouted.

"Yes, but together" Aphrodite said blushing.

"I didn't bring YOUR Hephaestion back just to sleep! They had been apart for a year!! "

"I heard Hephaestion say before he was still feeling weak" Aphrodite spoke on behalf of her protégée.

"That's fine, let's help those boys to have some fun" and saying that he went down and blew some air of strength through Hephaestion's mouth.

The brunette young man stirred in is sleep, he felt a warm shiver along his body and also felt how his energy was building up as well as his desire. He turned into Alexander's arms and kissed the tip of his nose, Alexander waved his hand in front of his face as if an insect were annoying him; a wicked smile appeared on Hephaestion's face, he did the same again and Alexander repeated the same movement without waking up.

Hephaestion outlined with his thumb Alexander's closed lips, pushing their middle to get entrance, when Alexander set his lips apart; his mouth was covered by Hephaestion's warm lips which were kissing him with fruition, as if he couldn't get enough of them. The prince opened his eyes and kissed his lover back with the same passion, hands started to wander and caress the other's body as if they were on a recognition mission.

Alexander kissed Hephaestion's body, leaving a trail of caresses and goose bumps from head to toes, Hephaestion's moans filled the air and made Alexander redoubled his effort.

-"I need you now, Alex, stop this foreplay, please" he begged.

- "Are you sure, Phai? I don't want to hurt you …. "

- "I know, it's been a year for me, at least, but I feel my energy renovated" and saying that he lied on his back and spread his legs wide enough to bring and set Alexander between them, "Please …. Now ? " he said again.

- "If you are sure enough, we can try but if you feel uneasy, we can …"

Alexander's explanation was cut by a pair of lips nibbling his earlobe and whispering :

"I'm ready; you won't hurt me and I need you … inside me … now" Hephaestion caressed Alexander's nape and brought their lips together again; his hands wandered around the prince's back and crushed his waist between his strong but gentle legs.

Alexander took a vial of oil from the bedside table , he put the scented liquid in his hand to warm it and then he smeared it around and inside his lover's entrance, preparing also himself for a long and slow lovemaking.

When Hephaestion felt the invasion of his lover's fingers, his body retreated a bit, a pang of pain hit his body and a tear rolled down his cheek.

"Don't cry, love, we can stop." Said the prince gently, propping on his elbows and brushing his lips over his Phai's eyes.

"I don't want to stop" Hephaestion replied caressing Alexander's cheek, "I shouldn't be afraid of you, but it's been so long …" he sighed, setting his forehead against Alexander's.

Alexander started again, but this time he was even more careful, tender and slower than before. When he was preparing him again, he whispered:

"Phai, please, look at me, you don't know how much I've missed those eyes on me; I love you, Phai and I won't ever fail you again" and saying that he breached Phai's last resistance.

Alexander thrusted slowly inside his lover's body until the pace was quickened, the sweet spot inside Hephaestion was hit repeatedly and their passion reached a level that made both hearts explode with joy.

Moans, heavy breathing, encouraging and pleasurable cries, begging and tender caresses got the lovers to the end; Alexander came inside his lover, filling him with his warm seed; the brunette man came over his lover's chest and hugged his spent golden partner between his arms.

They remained quiet for a while, trying to get their breathing and heart beating to a normal rhythm. Alexander was resting on Hephaestion, touching him with his body from head to toes.

"Let me find a towel to wash you, Alexander" Phai offered.

"No, it is fine, I don't want you to move away from me"

"I won't run away, just fetch a towel and come back" Hephaestion said smiling.

"Don't dare to move; I've found that your body, even as skinny as it is now, it is better than my cot and if you move, I will also lose my warm pillow" Alexander answered and kissed his lover's chest.

"You won, I won't move but then don't start saying anything about being …."

Hephaestion was hushed by a warm kiss and a voice full of laughter said:

"Who is speaking too much now? Let's get some sleep and we will take a long hot bath in the morning."

The tired but happy couple slept all night long and as usual, Alexander was awake very early. The prince had slipped from Hephaestion's body during the night but his head was still resting on the brunette's chest; he started to draw letters on it and the slight touches made Hephaestion wake up.

"Good morning, my Prince" said Hephaestion with a sleepy voice.

"Good morning, gorgeous; how are you feeling this bright morning?" asked Alexander with a happy voice.

"Marvelous, alive … in love … happy… what about you?"

"Excellent, reborn … in love … happy but … tired" the Prince said yawning.

"Oh!" said Hephaestion pouting "I was thinking about a sexy bath but maybe I'd bath alone" he said while getting up from the bed, letting the silk sheet slide over his naked body and stirring it as if he were a cat.

Alexander looked at the stunning view; Hephaestion was really a walking temptation with that body, carved by the gods themselves. He followed him with his eyes almost closed and saw him disappear in the bathing area; he was really tired but after thinking for some seconds, he decided that it was an opportunity he wouldn't let it pass. He got up slowly and led towards the bathtub. He stopped at the door and admired the vision in front of him, his Phai was completely wet and resting his manly body on the border of the tub. Alexander could see his face so relaxed that he didn't want to spoil the moment but his urgent desire was stronger and he entered the water and set his own body behind Phai's.

Alexander took a cloth and lathered Hephaestion's back, massaging his shoulders, his hands went downwards and found two brownish nipples which were caressed till they got hard, Hephaestion's moans encouraged his love to move further, he teased his navel and caressed the famous tights without touching the erected manhood. Hephaestion was waiting for his prince's hands on him but as he followed his way to his knees, the brunette man turned round in his arms and kissed him fiercely.

"Don't tease me, my prince, because if you do, I'll find someone who can deliver what he promises."

A startled Alexander looked into his lover's eyes and whispered:

- "I thought you had forgiven me, Hephaestion."

- "Of course, my love, I had, sorry it was just a bad joke" the brunette explained him while taking his face between his strong fingers and kissing him sweetly, he spoke against Alexander's lips:

- "I love you, Alexander, no one else, you are the one who gives sense to my life, you are what I need, you're my shield in battle, my blanket when I am cold, my food when I am hungry, my hero who rescue me form the hands of death. You are my everything, without you, I am nothing" and he kissed him again with all the passion he could feel in his body.

They spent a very long time in the water and only came out when it was really cold; Alexander took his lover in his arms and carried him to the bed and they made love countless times, till sleep caught them.

The sun was high in the sky when this very happy couple made their appearance in the dinning room. Surprisingly, the king and general Amyntoros were having their meal with the companions and turned round to see Alexander and Hephaestion entering the room, holding hands.

"Someone has been making up about his several errors, I think" said the king with a rusty voice.

"Oh yes, we can also see some love bites on your neck, Phai, general Amyntoros added."

Both youths were completely embarrassed and Hephaestion didn't know where to look. The companions started to laugh and made them room to sit while handing them food and drink.

"Eat well, boys, because I think you still have some making up to do" Perdicas shouted from the other side of the table.

When lunch was over, Alexander had decided that as it was hot, they could go for a ride to the waterfall and have a bath there and repeat this morning session but his dreams came to pieces when he listened to his father asking Hephaestion to go with him to his chamber to discuss an important issue.

TBC.


	10. Chapter 10

Title: "You are my weakness" Chapter 10: "Here we are together."

Author: too_beauty

Feedback: yes, please any kind of them will help me to improve my writing or leave it forever.

Pairing: Alexander & Hephaestion.

Rating: NC-17

Category: Historical AU so some personages will appear to serve the purpose of this story.

Disclaimer: I don't know the people involved; A&H belonged to themselves and to History, if not Hephaestion would be still among us, living under my "protection".

**Warning: m/m explicit sexual intercourse, **but you should know that by now.

Author's notes: the text in capital letters belongs to the script of "Alexander" by Oliver Stone. The scene in my balcony is what I wish it took place outside Alexander's tent the night before Gaugamela battle.

No beta so all mistakes are mine.

**I want to thank in advance to all of you for reading and commenting on this story, which was supposed to be a one-shot and ended in ten chapters. Your hearty comments, your unconditional support made it possible; I really don't have enough words to express my ****gratitude, Marielina. Now to the last chapter!!!**

Hephaestion reappeared in the dinning room two hours later, his head was hanging so much that his chin nearly reached his upper chest, his shoulders were together and his footsteps were not as light as usual; his hands were closed in tight fists and his whole body could show that something really important and serious had happened.

He went on walking, trying to reach his old chamber when a warm hand touched one of his, he lifted his head, knowing who the owner of that hand was, he would always identify his lover's touch above others; and he tried to smile but he failed.

"Hephaestion, what's the problem?" an anxious Alexander asked.

"Nothing, my Prince, do not worry" Hephaestion answered. It was not very common that Hephaestion addressed Alexander as prince so the golden youth knew for sure that something was tormenting his lover's mind.

"Talk to me, love, please don't leave in the shadows, look at me and let me lighten your heart, which is heavy with sorrow" Alexander said while coming to a halt in the middle of the statues hall.

"I need some time alone, Alexander, there are many things I must think about before I take a decision" Hephaestion answered seriously.

"Does it have to do with the meeting you had with my father?"

"May be, but … I really should be going" and saying that Hephaestion left a puzzled prince standing in the hall.

The brunette youth went directly towards his secret spot in the furthest garden of the palace, when he needed a time alone, this was the perfect place to think and brood. He knew that everything that King Philip told him was true, he also realized that the king didn't want to be harsh on him but that he needed an answer and he needed it soon. Three hours later, Hephaestion had reached to his decision and went back to communicate to his king.

He saw surprise in his King's face but then a little smile appeared on that old face and Hephaestion dawned on he had taken the correct decision.

-"Arrange everything so you can set off soon" the king said.

- "Yes, Sire" and he turned round, walking towards the door.

Hephaestion entered the chamber he shared with Alexander since coming back from death, and found his lover laying on the bed with his arms above his head and staring at the ceiling.

He went to his chest, opened it and took out some clean chitons, under garments, a pair of leather boots, two cloaks and a fur cloak, gifted by Alexander two winters ago. He also looked for his pouch of money, his dagger and two well worn books; finally he took a wooden box with his writing utensils, clean scrolls and some writing papers. He knew that Alexander was following all his movements but he hadn't dared to look at his lover's direction. When everything was set inside two leather bags, he left them by the door and called one of the royal pages and asked him to take those bags to the stable and asked the groom there to prepare his mare because he was leaving soon.

Hephaestion turned round and saw Alexander sitting on the bed, looking at him with so much pain in his two coloured eyes that it was just painful looking at him. He approached the prince and took his face between his hands, he rubbed his slender thumbs over the prince's cheeks and brought his face closer till he brushed his soft lips onto his, it was a butterfly kiss, he knew that if he deepened it, he wouldn't be able to leave his Alexander.

Hephaestion lifted his head and looking into Alexander's eyes, he whispered:

"I love you, only you, and I am coming back"

"Don't leave me, Phai" Alexander pleaded.

"I must" and saying that he ran to the door and disappeared.

Three months had passed and there were no news about Hephaestion's return, Alexander was getting desperate, he knew that the talks with the Athenians had been successful and that Hephaestion and his diplomatic skills had worked perfectly; the peace had been signed a month ago but the brunette youth hadn't come back to him. Rumours were coming and going around the palace, some said that Demosthenes had tricked Hephaestion to join him as a lecturer and had become his lover; others said that Hephaestion would not come back because he had found his real place in Athens and that he didn't want to come back to his rustic companions.

Alexander didn't believe any of them but his heart was in constant pain. What if his Phai had found another to give his love to? What if he hadn't been clear enough in showing his real feelings to the brunette and because of that he had sought comfort in someone else? What if something bad had happened on his way back and he had no one to help him? What if ….? So many What if questions were around his mind that he didn't notice the door opening. He was standing in the balcony of their chamber – he loved thinking it was still theirs- with his hands resting on the rail, looking at the horizon and daydreaming, he released a loud sigh and whispered : "Phai, my love, where are you?" .

Two strong arms circled his waist and someone kissed his nape.

"Phai?" the young prince asked.

"Of course, who else could do that to you?" a happy voice asked.

Alexander turned round in his arms and saw the man he was dreaming about, right there, next to him, and he couldn't help laughing. Hephaestion looked at him and asked:

"Alexander, are you feeling fine?"

"Now I am" and he crushed his lips with his lover's. The kiss ended when both young men needed some oxygen and it was followed by a trail of other kisses, small but as tender ones as the first one.

"By Zeus, how much I missed you" whispered Hephaestion with his lips still onto Alexander's.

"Same feeling here but why didn't you come back straight forward the treat was signed?" a serious Alexander asked.

"Because I had some thinking to do and I couldn't do it here" Hephaestion confessed.

"Why not?"

"Because my feelings for you could cloud my mind very easily and I didn't need that" Hephaestion answered.

"Is your thinking over?" Alexander asked with fear in his voice.

"Yes, it is" the brunette assured him.

"And …?"

You once told me that FEAR OF DEATH DRIVES ALL MEN AND IT IS THE CAUSE OF ALL OUR MISFORTUNES and I have come to believe that we are getting in something SO MUCH BIGGER THAN we have supposed.

"But Hephaestion, DID PATROCLUS DOUBT ACHILLES WHEN THEY STOOD SIDE BY SIDE AT THE SIEGE OF TROY?

"No, my Alexander, but PATROCLUS DIED FIRST and I had just done that" a serious Hephaestion answered.

"IF YOU DO … IF YOU WERE TO FALL again, HEPHAESTION, EVEN IF MACEDONIA WERE TO LOSE A future KING… I WILL AVENGE YOU … AND FOLLOW YOU DOWN TO THE HOUSE OF DEATH" Alexander said looking at those cerulean eyes.

"No! Take that back!! You won't do anything like that, if I die, you will go on living" Hephaestion shouted desperately.

"No! I won't, life will have no meaning for me without you, you were born to be my soul mate as I was too, you are the best part of me" Alexander confessed.

"Don't say that, not tonight when a real battle is waiting for us tomorrow" Hephaestion said.

"Will you go into battle with me, side by side, as Patroclus and Achilles did?"

"Of course, I can't think about a better way to die" Hephaestion replied.

"FEAR NOT HEPHAESTION, WE ARE AT THE BEGINNING of our adventure together" Alexander assured

"ON THE EVE OF BATTLE, IT IS HARDEST TO BE ALONE" Alexander said while hugging his lover tightly.

"THEN, PERHAPS, THIS IS not A FAREWELL … MY ALEXANDER … but as you said just the beginning." And saying that he kissed his prince strongly on his lips.

The brunette man took his lover's hand and headed inside the chamber, he stopped next to the big bed and looked at Alexander with love and lust; many months had passed since they had spent a night together and if he were to die the following day in battle, he would make this night worth an eternity.

Hephaestion lifted Alexander's chin, making his friend look straight into his blue-violet eyes and pulled him into another soft but hungry kiss. They stood there, chest to chest and both waists were enfolded by the other's arms.

Both youths rested their foreheads against each other and their hands started to wander over the other's body. The touch was gentle, caressing the skin as if they were discovering their bodies for the first time.

Hephaestion shivered with anticipation and Alexander soothed him whispering sweet nothings in his ear and assuring him that everything would be fine.

The prince led his friend to his bed and helped him get rid of his chiton and sandals. The moon was full that night and a ray was illuminating the chamber, Alexander's eyes stayed glued to Hephaestion's frame because it was gorgeous, and it was all his to enjoy it. The brunette youth caressed Alexander's cheek and he rested his face on that warm hand, while with his free hand, Hephaestion unclipped Alexander's chiton. After some more kisses, which were quite hungry, Alexander leant over to the bedside table and got a phial with sandal oil, he coated his fingers and slipped one oiled finger into his tight hole, Hephaestion made a forward movement and so a second and finally third finger was added and he started pumping, flexing and scissoring the tight entrance until Hephaestion was panting and begging for more. Alexander slipped his fingers from Hephaestion and the brunette moaned from the loss but it was quickly forgotten when the prince positioned himself and aligned his manhood with his entrance. Hephaestion started moving in time with Alexander's thrusts with his legs onto his prince's shoulders. Wave after wave of pleasure washed over them, making them pant and moan. The thrusts became quicker, deeper and harder.

Sweet nothings and incoherent phrases could be listened in the clear night and they knew they were reaching their climaxes. Alexander found Hephaestion's sweet spot and made him moan loudly and come over their chests. Alexander followed him seconds later, coating his inside with his seed.

Alexander collapsed on top of Hephaestion, trying to catch his breath while listening to Hephaestion fast heartbeat. Alexander clung tighter to his lover who was lying sated under him and kissed his chest reverently.

Alexander looked at Hephaestion's blushed complexion, his swollen lips and eyes full of love and he thought he had never seen his Phai look as handsome and relaxed as he was in that moment. He knew that the following day was going to be a difficult one, it could also be their last one on earth but he was sure that he would never regret his life because he had everything he wanted, and all he needed was just resting by his side, and even though he knew his Phai was his weakness, he would never mention that again, he had leant his lesson and he wouldn't like to suffer it all over again.

The end.


End file.
